Friday, 6 November 2015

I want a big butt and I cannot lie.


It's amazing how much harder you focus on glute and hip strengthening exercises simply by reliving in your memory the excruciating pain they have the capacity to deliver over the Big Miles. So to prevent a re-run of the great big pain I endured during the last race, that which has kept me somewhat sidelined til yesterday, I have decided to acquire buns of steel, because achieving Iron Arse is quite likely the only way I will in any way be able to run 26.2 miles without breaking into pieces and leaving slivers of myself all down the course. I stand (ok, I sit at this precise moment, but stand sounds better) before you to pledge that under no circumstances will I be swept up and deposited into a dumpster, I am going for glory. And glory requires an enorm-ass. So hereafter I will ask my friends to call me Queen Clamshell. The Duchess of Derriere. The Baroness of Buns. But my lawdy, do enough of those exercises and it hurts. Yes! Good pain! Progress!

I never thought in all 44 years of life on this round earth I'd find myself wishing my backside were larger (who knew?!) but a decade and a half of slobbing around on the sofa had pretty much given me the physique of a frog til I started running. Dial up 2.5 years and many miles later, I have completely misplaced the monster glutes of my old dancer days. So much so that on walk breaks in that half-from-hell I was doing this superfunky waddle-while-squeezing-buns-each-step that could've put the stars of Strictly to shame. Heaven only knows what they'd call that particular dance or better, how Bruno would comment.

So after initiating Operation Monster Glutes yesterday morning, I got out later in the afternoon with the work run club for an uber gentle 5k . Finished with the tiniest of niggles, quickly resolved by a hot date with the foam roller. I did not burst into flames, that old 'Transport for London' baddie was appropriately de-knotted and the left knee today is feeling easy like Sunday morning (which is when the next run is booked in).

So right...
Started the strength programme? Check.
Bit of fundraising in and have commenced a plea for support on fundraising event? Check.
Back on the road? Check.

Righty-o. Hey buns, let's run.

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