Tuesday, 31 March 2015

Out like a lion.

Bluster and gust. Rain and splutter. Like me, this week has done nothing in whisper.

They say March arrives as lion and tiptoes away as lamb. Not in this life, friend, not in this one.

In this life, there are times I find myself with no words. Speechless at the wonder of what I've seen, felt, realized, done. There are times I have no words, and then they come, and they bubble and froth and boil over and rush forward as tsunami and then I am free of them, I am released. Usually this release is a black and oily thing. This is a why us? and a how come? and an oh no! and a my God! And there is a hugging of knees and a rocking and a wailing and a running away and a digging myself out, and a covering up my head and wishing the day away.

But oh no. Not today.

Today the wave is Joy.
Today the wave is Pride.
Today the wave is Progress.
Today the wave is I am. I can. I will.

Today the wave is I DID.

Today the wave is steps. Steps to. And steps fro. Without support, steps. With a laugh and a grin so wide it could embrace the world. With salty tears. With a room full of people who have seen it a million times, yet still gone silent, turned, focused on one little boy.


Red eyes. Lumped throats. Beat-skipping hearts.

Today the wave is love and friendship. TRUE friendship. Fist pumping the air friendship. Thankheavensyougotherewethoughtmaybeyouweren'tcoming friendship. Not contrived, organized, hoped for, but TRUE. Tomorrow friendship.

Last June we moved to a new place in the hopes that the wave would follow, would sweep away all the sticky sorrow that held us all back, would free us from the past. Last June we came here to find our tomorrow. Last June was the proverbial first day of the rest of our lives. The days that have piled on top of each other like sand in a castle that goes so high it blots the sunset. The wet kind of sand that sticks and does not falter. The days that tower. The days that lay a foundation. That castle fit for a king.

Of his own destiny.

No, son. No. No one here will deny you this as long as I have your back. And I have your back. I have never had anything like I have your back.

We are sailing. All together, sailing.

Because there really ARE no words for the place we are. In every aspect of life, this place has delivered what we need in bucket loads. Blustered and gusted. Cleared the cobwebs. Parted the clouds. Painted us blue skies again.

Today the wind has toppled bins.
Today the wind has lit up the motion sensored light onandoffandonandoff like a panting phantom.
Today the wind has blown away the guesswork and the statistical suspicion.
Today the wind has erased the 'he will need..., he will require..., he will not...'

Because today he WALKED. A few steps only but he WALKED.

Unsupported by a walker.
Unsupported by his mother's hands.
Unsupported by his father's hands.
Unsupported by his nursery key worker's hands.
Unsupported by a physio.
Unsupported by the naysayers.
Unsupported by the box-tickers.

Today he walked. And tomorrow he will keep walking.

He will bluster and gust and fly and roar. And he will keep walking.

On his terms, in his time, he will keep walking.

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