Monday, 24 September 2012

Look mommy, I made a rhombus.

Summer is officially over and Rukai has now been on and returned from his first vacation.  Both were a bit of a washout for us oldies but since hes a newbie he didn't really notice.  Then too, I guess there's no need to see anything past your big toe if your feet are amongst the most interesting things on the planet.  We could've taken him to the Premier Inn down the road and he wouldn't have known any different.  I also guess it was a nice change of scenery to see all the rain pissing down from a different living room than the one he's used to.

During the trip we really kicked in the new food sampling into overdrive.  I started out at home with the best of intentions, making fresh purees from fresh vegetables.  This quickly turned into frozen vegetables, largely because I couldn't be arsed to peel another carrot.  But then I hit the baby food aisle at Asda and have never looked back.  It just seemed to take up far too much bonding time to be mashing up all that shit that he gobbles up with equal zeal regardless of how it's prepared.  As long as there isn't any stuff I can't identify in the jar, bring it on.  It didn't help all that time spent boiling and mashing things brought back memories of all that pumping I did when I could've been down on the floor playing roly poly with him.  I can't get those days back and wasn't about to lose any more.  So home made is just not worth the time, but of course I feel a bit of guilt losing another part of the Master Plan.

To be fair, said Master Plan includes a huge check from the National Lottery but until that happens we'll have to make do and resort to plan - what is it now - say, Q or R.  If it makes any difference to soften the guilt, I buy the organic stuff.  In all honesty I don't buy it because it's organic.  Oh, no.  It's because it's called Hipp Organic, which all you bright sparks will quickly identify spells Hipp O.  Hippo.  Divine!  And that is all Dirty Water Pool.  Which makes it required shopping.

Now, with all this talk about eating, alas I must return again to that old gem, poop.  We have entered an entirely new phase of understanding human physiology.  And chemistry.  And geometry.  It's like going back to high school with a drooling farty thing as your teacher.  Then again, I think I had a few teachers like that in high school.

But I digress again.  (Surprise!)  Let's move on.

While we were sampling all these new Hippo foods, young son got a bit blocked up.  Like for about three days.  So I consulted Doctor Google and it seemed perfectly common and nothing to worry about so we waited for the blowout.  It was more of a damp squib but opened up entirely new horizons.

T's changing him one day and the conversation goes about like this:

Me:  Please tell me he pooped.
T:  Heeeeeey, he pooped a triangle.
Me:  A triangle?  (Step closer to have a look)  I think it looks more like a pyramid.  How tidy.  But P.U.

Few hours later, I'm changing him this time and it goes about like this:

Me:  Heeeeeey we got an oval this time.  Kinda looks like a trilobite.  Ew. 
(T looks over my shoulder)
Me:  Kid's a genius.  He's pooping geometry.  Next it'll be a pooallelogram.  Or a crapezoid.  Or maybe even a rhombus.

And so we're back on track.  He's eating like a horse, and will eat just about anything, although a recent sample of sweet potato and beef has caused an unidentifiable tantrum even though he eats it.  Can't decide whether he thinks it tastes like crap or if the texture is too gloopy after his breakfast porridge.  Then too, maybe he's moved beyond the flavor and will next be handing me the menu from the local Chinese while pointing at the shrimp toast.  I wonder if you could puree that?


On another note, because it's just too ridiculous to omit...

This afternoon I finally got the report in the mail from our mid June meeting with the Amazing Patronizing Genetic Counselor.  Not only has she taken three months to merely quote scripture in a typical and all-too-familiar NHS ass covering exercise, but she also completely dodged my request to learn whether there is a more detailed test result for Rukai in the records somewhere.  The prize winning best of the nonsense she's written:

"You explained that you and your husband are very happy to get to know your son as an individual."

Are you fucking kidding me?  Do ya think?  Oh my lord.  Please remove 'counselor' from your title because if you ever 'counseled' me on anything I think I'd lose the will to live.

Never mind.  Rant over for now.  I 'm gonna go look for a sphere.

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